salon.com (salonmagazine) Travel Oct. 5, 1999
From Lhasa to Dharamsala, a Westerner pieces together the poignant puzzle
of Tibetan Buddism and its exalted leader in exile.
By Rachel Louise Snyder
During rainy season, Dharamsala, India, home to the exiled Tibetan
community, is transformed from a mountaintop village into the enchanted
forest of Robin Hood folklore. The clouds descend over the ridge like a
scrim and the feeling -- the inability to see anything -- can be
claustrophobic, can make you blink and squint and hyperventilate in the
thick, wet air. Anything might suddenly appear -- cars, monks, cows --
where once was only thick gray fog. Unable to see more than 10 feet down
the steep, winding path, you can almost imagine a band of merry horsemen
emerging from the pine trees lining the road.
Our guidebook told us the 14th Dalai Lama had a presence so large he filled
up the room during his public audiences in Dharamsala. Now suddenly we -- a
traveling American writer and photographer -- had been granted a private
audience with him. Would his presence, I wondered, overwhelm me? Would I be
rendered inarticulate? Would I feel a transcendence afforded legends
standing in the presence of this reincarnated demigod? It occurred to me
that the cleanest clothing I had was an orange T-shirt that said "Life is
Good" -- which seemed mildly inappropriate when meeting a man in exile.
Before leaving Chicago a month earlier, I had not been granted an interview
with the Dalai Lama. In fact, I had been told by his private secretary that
he would be in Portugal when I was due in Dharamsala. But my photographer,
Ann Maxwell, and I had been delayed in Tibet by mudslides and closed roads
and we had arrived in India days later than anticipated. Infuriating at the
time, this now seemed like a wondrous stroke of dumb luck.
We were on a two-month exploration of all things Tibetan. Our itinerary
included Nepal, the first stop for all incoming Tibetan refugees, Tibet,
Dharamsala and London, where the Tibet Information Network is based. We
investigated increased violence inside Tibet, forced sterilization of
Tibetan women, refugees, feminist nuns and dissident groups like the
Tibetan Youth Congress. Meeting the Dalai Lama, of course, had always been
our greatest hope for the trip, our apogee.
The night before our interview, our nerves nearly combusted. Ann checked
her film, flash, batteries and lenses half a dozen times. I checked my tape
recorder, pens, batteries and questions; I read more than half the Dalai
Lama's autobiography in one sitting; my Chicago Tribune editors called at
midnight and went through my questions twice.
Ann believed we would feel it, feel that something that was missing from
the presence of ordinary mortals. I was more skeptical. Perhaps he had
grown into his power and title not because he was exceptional, but because
he had been groomed from age 2 to believe in his own preordained position,
in the same way that geishas, slaves and royalty evolve into the roles
they're told they command. Perhaps any man would have a presence as large
under the same conditions.
And yet, in "Civilization and Its Discontents," Freud begins by discussing
the attraction that all people have for power -- in themselves or in
others. But the greatness of those we admire, he says, rests on "attributes
and achievements which are completely foreign to the aims and ideals of the
multitude." Certainly 50 years of peaceful perseverance in his campaign for
Tibetan autonomy put the Dalai Lama in this category.
In Lhasa, the capital of Tibet, we had spent a great deal of time at the
Potala Palace, the Dalai Lama's former 1,000-room winter home, from which
he had fled the Chinese in 1959 disguised as an armed guard. Both the
Potala, where 10,000 monks once lived, and the Norbulingka, his summer
palace, have been left exactly as they were when he fled them -- a Phillips
radiogram in the bedroom, two 1927 Austins and a 1931 Dodge parked behind
the palace. The Potala now has just a handful of monks who attempt its
upkeep and wait for the Dalai Lama's return. Though the Chinese advertise
that it's open for tourism only several days a week, I went often, again
and again, through its dark labyrinth of hollow rooms where plain-clothed
monks sit quietly and refill yak-butter candles in silver chalices; they
smile at the tourists studying the deity reproductions, the faded blue,
red, green and yellow silk cloths that hang from the ceiling, the white
scarves draping over Buddhas. Here flickering candles shoot wavering
shadows on the dark red walls and the quiet is the kind reserved for places
where tragedies too big and too close to accept reside: Dachau, the killing
fields, Rwanda, My Lai.
In broken English, translators attempt to explain the Tibetan Buddhist
sects -- the yellow-head sect or the red-head sect; they point out the
Green Tara, or the Buddhas of compassion, wisdom, patience. If asked, they
will say the Chinese have offered them opportunities that they never got
under the Tibetan government -- though these 20-year-old translators, who
smile at the naivet=E9 of Westerners believing Tibet should be free of China=
are themselves rarely old enough to remember when their country was ruled
by its own people. And in each room of the Potala, far up in a dark corner,
drilled into the 300-year-old wood and charting each movement of the monks,
each conversation, each wistful gaze they offer, sits a bolted white camera.
I closed my eyes in one room, breathed in the thick scent of yak butter and
tried to imagine the voices of 10,000 monks, the chant of the Dalai Lama in
his home, his footsteps on the stone ground, the flowing silk robes he once
wore when both freedom and country belonged to him. The Potala was like an
ancient building undeserving of the historical status afforded it because
its history was still alive and well on a misty mountaintop. I opened my
eyes and for a long moment, stared into the dark lens of one camera.
The Dalai Lama's home in Dharamsala is much less grand. Armed Indian guards
stand behind an iron gate leading to his residence and offices; two metal
detectors are positioned in front of and next to the gate. Among pine
trees, several one- and two-story buildings dot the land beyond the fence,
but the fog was so heavy I could never see more than a few feet past the
Before meeting the Dalai Lama, journalists are required to give their
questions to the private secretaries, partly for security and partly
because his holiness has a reputation for long-windedness; knowing this,
the secretaries often help to rephrase questions in order to fully utilize
the time allotted in an interview -- in my case, 20 minutes. As I sat there
going over my questions about India's nuclear testing, Tibetan autonomy and
Clinton's last visit to China in June of 1998, I felt as if I'd entered a
parallel universe, a place where this interview should not have been
happening. What would we have discussed, I wondered, if it was happening at
the Potala. The Chinese have allowed portions of Lhasa -- encouraged it
even -- to become a shrine of all things Dalai Lama, all things Buddhist,
as long as references encapsulate only the first through the 13th Dalai
Lamas and as long as the numbers of monks and nuns remain far below the
pre-1950s population. Praise could be bestowed upon the fifth for expanding
the Potala to its present glory, but the 14th Dalai Lama, the current
exiled leader and winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, was relegated to the
memories of his followers and his enemies, neither of whom spoke of him
publicly. Denouncing a fact, though, hardly makes it less true.
As I wandered the narrow, cobbled streets of the Tibetan side of Lhasa, I
thought often about the Dalai Lama. I didn't know then, of course, that I
would meet him, but I felt a sort of shame in knowing that, unlike him,
unlike the refugees who had fled, unlike his countrymen who had been
jailed, persecuted and killed under Chinese rule, I was free to enter and
leave the country almost at will. Even though the Dalai Lama, when he lived
there, never roamed the streets like an ordinary citizen but was in public
rarely and only with an entourage, the streets still felt as if they
belonged to him. I met many who carried thumb-sized photos of him in the
folds of their robes and I wondered what it was like inside the Dalai
Lama's memory. Surely the city, even without the obvious Chinese influence,
had changed. When he longed for Tibet, I wondered, what was the Tibet he
was longing for?
Before our interview, Ann and I bought white scarves to offer him and we
learned how to prostrate and hoped he would recognize our cultural
sensitivity. I was, of course, in internal pandemonium, my stomach ached,
my hands shook, but I also knew there was safety in this interview. Above
all else, he was nice. I'd read his book, I'd visited his country, my
editors believed in me, I knew to look him in the eye, and most
importantly, Ann believed I could do it, which was worth more than
everything else combined.
When the time finally came, we, with our equipment and our white scarves,
were led to a sidewalk where the Dalai Lama, flanked by two men, waited for
us. He wore his standard maroon robe with a gold tank top underneath and
stood, arms at his side, stoically, watching my approach. He was taller
than I had guessed. I wondered if the walk toward him was included in my 20
minutes. It was, in memory, both the longest and shortest walk of my life,
akin to what a bride must feel when the aisle stretches out before her, yet
suddenly there she is, in front of the minister. I offered a half-grin -- I
am a habitual smiler. He didn't flinch. Before I could speak, he snatched
our scarves and tossed them to his secretary, grabbed my hand firmly and
pulled me into his reception room. "Not much time," he said gruffly.
I nodded vigorously. His voice was deep and loud, not at all the gentle
monk I'd envisioned and my hand was red where he'd grabbed it. I took a
deep breath and launched into a question about India's nuclear testing. The
phrasing was important. He did not support nuclear weapons, war, or
military action in general; he wanted a demilitarized world. What he
supported was the right to such testing if, and only if, world powers like
the U.S. also engaged in such "rights." By most accounts, he was misquoted.
As he answered the question, I began to wonder if he missed Lhasa's thin
air, if the Dharamsala dampness bothered him, if he envisioned the
sparkling minerals that glinted like jewels off mountains in the sun all
along the Tibetan plateau. I wished I'd brought him something from Tibet --
some yak butter or prayer flags, a story of hope. Did he miss the Kham
warriors who wove turquoise into their long hair and the days when the
words foreign policy, United Nations and refugee meant nothing to him?
Today, would he get in that '27 Austin and plow through the winding
alleyways near Lhasa's Jokhang Temple? Did he envision himself wandering
the hallways of the Potala? Would he recognize its hollow silence?
He was a stocky man with gray stubble on his head, a long face, and large,
metal framed glasses. His answers were complex and his English halting.
Every few moments he looked to his two secretaries who sat in the room with
us and asked them to clarify words in Tibetan, which they would then
translate into English for me.
The day I interviewed the Dalai Lama happened to be the day after President
Clinton admitted to having an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky.
This was before the U.S. had split down the middle, before the
partisanship, the hatred, the petty slandering and questioning and
distrust. We knew only that the news had reached even the mountaintop in
Dharamsala and that we felt betrayed and disappointed and hurt by our
president. In my second question, I'd begun with Clinton, intending to ask
about his visit to China. Before I could finish, the Dalai Lama drew his
head back in surprise and looked at me incredulously. "You mean with
Lewinsky?" he shouted.
I froze. Behind me, Ann's camera shutter stopped. I bumbled an apology on
behalf of my president. But suddenly I realized the irony of discussing the
world's biggest sexual faux pas with the world's most famous celibate man
and I burst out laughing. That the Dalai Lama, Bill Clinton and Monica
Lewinsky had entered my mind's trajectory simultaneously seemed
sacrilegious even for a democratic agnostic. I realized that I hadn't
broached this issue with his secretaries, but I pressed ahead anyway.
"Actually," I laughed, "that's not my question, but I would like to know
what you think."
He threw his head back and laughed with me. All at once, the tension
dissolved, he slapped his hand on his knee and together we cracked up. Even
his secretaries, who were largely humorless, laughed; Ann snapped photos
and suddenly I saw that the way to the Dalai Lama was through his laughter.
Here was a man who had escaped his country, who had endured for nearly 50
years without wavering, indeed who never even called his enemies such and
he had a laugh as big as the sky. I've heard that he knows the power of his
own laugh, that he has used it to manipulate other journalists, but with me
it felt wholly sincere. I couldn't help thinking of my country, of the
ultimatums we offer to the Iraqs and the Bosnias and the Vietnams of the
world, of the shame we all feel, Democrat or Republican, at having
officials who lie and get caught. But if a man like the Dalai Lama, who had
lost an entire country and countless friends, could still lose himself in
gales of giggles, surely there was hope for the rest of us.
We discussed politics, religion, autonomy, refugees, opposition groups and
Chinese oppression, but the thing I remember most was his penchant for
laughter. "You know," he spoke in a conspiratorial whisper about midway
through the interview, "you really are spoiled. Your generation."
I told him my grandmother had said likewise for 30 years.
"I think the younger generation of America all have great potential if
utilized properly," he said. "They can think, and that's important."
My 20 minutes turned into a half hour and my half hour turned into an hour
and we laughed and talked and joked. He grinned at Ann's camera. He asked
if we had enjoyed India. He put his hand over mine when we talked of
refugees. When it was all over, I asked him how he had endured for 50 years
-- with that deep well of laughter -- and he told me this story: "One
Tibetan monk who is now close with me came [to Dharamsala] in the early
'80s [and] joined with me. He [had] spent more than 18 years in a Chinese
prison labor camp. So we used to talk and he told me on a few occasions he
really faced some danger. So I ask him, 'What danger? What kind of danger?'
-- thinking he would tell me of Chinese torture and prison.
"He replied, 'Many times I was in danger of losing compassion for the
Ann and I gasped. He paused and studied us.
"That's marvelous, isn't it?" he grinned.
Save for that story, most of his answers to my questions have faded from
memory. But I will never forget the sound of his big, booming laugh. I
don't know if the Dalai Lama fills a room because of who he is or because
of what we've made him, but I think now that it doesn't matter. I think
what people really mean when they say he fills a room is that he fills
When the interview was over, he motioned to one of his secretaries who then
disappeared into a back room. Reappearing moments later, the secretary
handed each of us a tiny white envelope. Inside, was a silver Tibetan coin
-- the kind not used since the Chinese takeover -- made sometime between
1906 and 1912. On one side was inscribed "Gaden Phodrang," which refers to
the Tibetan government; on the other was a lotus circle, which, in Tibet,
represents victory in all directions. The Dalai Lama wanted us to have
them. The secretary later told me that he gave them out only to those he
felt an affinity toward, those "new friends and old," in his words, who
"constantly refresh me." The secretary also handed him the two white
scarves we'd brought with us. Placing one around my neck, the Dalai Lama
peered closely at my shirt. "'Life is good,'" he read aloud. "That's good,
yes." Then, taking my hand in his, he squeezed it and leaned in toward me.
"Now tell me," he whispered, "about Tibet." salon.com | Oct. 5, 1999